I was reading an article earlier today on SAHM being depressed. I could relate because, well, I'm a SAHM and I am often depressed. I am depressed by the condition of my house, the behavior of my children, my lack of friendships, the size of my bank account, the cold weather, the long hours my husband is gone, the inability to go anywhere without four others tagging along, etc. I often joke about these things, but in reality it is no joke. It is not something that is fleeting. It is beginning to take a stronger foothold and it scares me.
I find myself crying for no reason, eating more and working out less, having thoughts about my uselessness, and so forth. It could get dangerous here. I know what I need, I just don't know how to get it. I really need a break. I know it is funny, the last time I wrote I had just had a break. But if you didn't catch the dates on the posts, it was from 4 months ago. I think I'm due again. And really I am not looking for a weekend here or there, I think I need something more regular and more often. Maybe two days a week getting a sitter for a few hours. Oh, but that costs money. Thus here I sit. No money, no break.
I wandered over after reading your encouraging comment on Generation Cedar. If your still feeling down, hang in there. Invite another family of kids over, let them play and forget about school work, and visit with the mom. Even if you do not know each other well, it is so nice to visit with another adult. Occasionally getting to grocery shop without the kids used to be the only break I got, but getting together with another mom has really helped my outlook.
ReplyDeleteI know where you are coming from, and I only have one ten month old son. For us the answer was two day a week day care and me going back to work part time. It has turned an upside down household into a very happy mom with a happy family! You may just need to be creative and do some things you never thought you would do...hang in there. :-)
ReplyDeleteI have been in those shoes. No money for a babysitter here, but a friend and I swap kids every now and then and neither of us pay the other. It works great. Do you have even one friend you trust who that could work with?
ReplyDeleteThe other thing is, look up play groups to your local area at meetup.com. Maybe just getting in something like that, where your kids are occupied with other kids and you could chat with other moms, would feel like something of a break.
I hope it gets better.
Hi, I am a mom of 4 kids too. I don't homeschool, but my oldest is only 5. For a very long time I felt the way you are feeling. People suggested that I try taking antidepressants. My dh was very against it and so was I. However, I was feeling miserable, stuck in a rut, and nothing was getting accomplished. Finally, after much prayer, My dh felt led to allow me to give medication a try. So about 3 months ago I started an antidepressant. After a few weeks I was like a new woman. I am no longer weepy, I'm motivated, I'm sleeping and eating better, I'm able to be active with my kids instead of just sitting on the couch. It has been an amazing transformation. Dh said it is like having the woman he married back. Please give this option some thoughtful prayer. Sending you a cyber hug.
ReplyDeleteMaybe public school would be a great option for you? There are some extremely dedicated teachers who care a great deal about their students. You could still homeschool them part-time, especially in regards to their religious studies et. al.. Even if you enrolled them for a semester, just to see how it works out for all of you. You might be pleasantly surprised at how well your children do and how much stress it takes off of you.
ReplyDeleteYou just sound so extremely overwhelmed, my heart truly goes out to you. Good Luck!
I've raised lots of children and am now a grandmother. Looking back on my days of raising little ones, I found that having the children have a regular nap time or for the older ones, quiet time with a book, allowed me some free time to have a nap myself or some time to read or just relax for an hour or two. It really helped me to refresh and enjoy being mom. Also, my motto in the home was, "peace and order," so not allowing the children to fight with each other and keeping clutter at bay and the house clean gave us peace and order. I know it's hard to do endless housework as it is a continual battle every day. I recommend a website I've enjoyed to help with housework, it's called www.flylady.org She has wonderful tips on organizing and keeping house, making it fun. I hope this helps. Blessings to you!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're so overwhelmed. Being a SAHM on top of homeschooling *is* overwhelming. I recently put my son in public school while continuing to homeschool my younger two children. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. I didn't even realize how stressed I was trying to homeschool all of 3 of them. He is thriving in public school and making straight A's. I have so much more energy and more time to spend with my younger ones who are still homeschooling. Just wanted to encourage you!
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