I was reading an article earlier today on SAHM being depressed. I could relate because, well, I'm a SAHM and I am often depressed. I am depressed by the condition of my house, the behavior of my children, my lack of friendships, the size of my bank account, the cold weather, the long hours my husband is gone, the inability to go anywhere without four others tagging along, etc. I often joke about these things, but in reality it is no joke. It is not something that is fleeting. It is beginning to take a stronger foothold and it scares me.
I find myself crying for no reason, eating more and working out less, having thoughts about my uselessness, and so forth. It could get dangerous here. I know what I need, I just don't know how to get it. I really need a break. I know it is funny, the last time I wrote I had just had a break. But if you didn't catch the dates on the posts, it was from 4 months ago. I think I'm due again. And really I am not looking for a weekend here or there, I think I need something more regular and more often. Maybe two days a week getting a sitter for a few hours. Oh, but that costs money. Thus here I sit. No money, no break.
